Happy 38

He would’ve been 38 today. He would have loved to see the pandemic on which he would actually have so much to say. But as unpredictable as he has always been, he’s not around for any of these. 


He visited me in a dream last night though. He was wearing a formal shirt with jeans and sports shoes. The shirt untucked just as how he always wore them, but somehow he was looking very fit. Almost like the way he looked back in school. 


We were joined by Munda and standing outside a small Tapri about to order a drink. What we got was that small glass in which you normally get cutting chai, but this had  some local alcohol which was putting me off even by its smell. 


I didn’t feel like drinking it at all and thought Bala should not be drinking it either. But somehow I didn’t get myself to say anything to him. He seemed to know what he was doing and what importantly I believe people should make their own decisions. 


However, the irony was that I couldn’t decide to have the drink myself and asked Munda if he would mind having half of it to which he says that we are not supposed to be sharing drinks. This was very strange and has never happened before. We never hesitated to share a smoke or a glass amongst us, but clearly the times we are living in is influencing the dream. 


I somehow managed to gulp the drink and the three of us started walking towards something that looked like a wedding hall. This was again strange because Bala has never attended a wedding (apart from Aashica’s). 


But as we walked in, I followed Munda in dropping the glass at the welcome table near the entrance, and then everything around me changed. The two of them disappeared and in their place was my mum. The hall changed into a church, very similar to the Manarcad church in Kerala.


I was wondering if the time shifted as well and if I had become younger, but then I looked at myself in the mirror and I seemed to be balding. So, clearly much older than I am right now. 


The world I was living in seems strange. Bala was no longer there of course, but neither was anybody else from my life right now. Just me and my mum in a familiar church with all unfamiliar faces. 

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