Answering the question you always asked

You remember how we much we spoke about Sin? We dissected that relationship in every way possible. And what it made it more entertaining was you had conversations with her as well. That was the best thing about her, the conversations. Just like the best thing about you.

But unfortunately, after I moved to Geet, we never spoke at all. At one level I didn’t want you involved because of the things that happened towards the end of my time with Sin. She was totally freaked out by you that one night in Chennai when I locked the door of the room we both were in, because you were completely drunk and kept knocking on our door and calling out to us.

You were always a Sociophobe, but you began scaring people away and I didn’t want to freak Geet out. That’s why I kept you guys apart and the only time you met was once in Bangalore when you came home to drop something off and had to hand it over to her. Even at that point, you just handed it over and left in a rush.

Anyway, reason I am writing this now is not to justify why I kept you guys apart. I think that was fairly evident given the way you were. But I’m writing this now to answer the question you always asked me, “are you happy with Geet?”. And I would always say there are good times and bad times just like any other relationship.

But it was only very recently that I figured what was truly the best thing about Geet. And it sounds strange to say this, but it was her touch.

There is something about a touch that both freaks me and calms me. I had a series of molestations as a kid. They've scarred me to this day, because if anyone touches me someplace I am not ready, I totally freak out. This includes Geet too. Even after all this time, if she touches my butt or something without my being aware, I freak out. It’s quite sad this happens, but I’ve spoken to a lot of people and I know childhood scars tend to last a lifetime. There is another friend who always sleeps on her tummy because she had incidents of an uncle feeling her up while she slept on her back as a child.

It’s sad these things happen, but anyway, that conversation is for another day. Right now I was talking about how a touch. And just like the way it freaks me, it also calms me. I still remember the day Gunjan stroked my hair as I was lying down on the bench at MVIT. I just dozed off with it. Happens even when my mom does that. And Gunjan also was completely plutonic. It was just the way the touch felt that totally relaxed me.

Now coming to Geet. She is always touching. One of the first things I fell for about her was the way she playfully held my hand. She is like this way with everyone and does this with confidence sans innuendos.

For me a touch would be either plutonic or completely suggestive. Geet is the only person who can walk that line in between, and that may be the thing I like most about her.

Not sure if this makes any sense at all, but was thinking about your question, and thought this was the answer that comes closest to it.