Not wanting to let go

Saw another dream last night. You, me, Noel and Atanu are together and we get a distress call about a boat being capsized and we're asked to help. I know the route to the boat really well since it seems to be a path I've taken many times before. I start leading the way, but halfway through you start complaining as you always did with any physical activity. However, this time you point to your swollen feet and the complaints seem genuine. So I find a bar where you can hang out and leave Noel with you for company. I decide to go along with Atanu, and return in the same direction once we have finished our work and meet you. 

But just as I'm about to leave, part of me really does not want to go as I'm worried you won't be there when I return. Another part of me desperately needs to move forward and save all those people depending on us. You make that choice so difficult. 

Every time I see these dreams, they seem so real. It feels like my awake time is actually a dream since you are not there in it. The dreams are when I'm actually awake since everything feels normal now that you're in it. It's annoying how these feelings persist. 

Wish you just existed in this real world. So much to enjoy. Even Sush had a baby 2 days back. How much you would have loved talking about it. Wonder if you would have ever met them. It's a strange coincidence that Vik and Geet never met or spoke to you. Even Geet only saw you once fleetingly. Given how you stayed away from some of your closest friends, or may be how me and Sush were always uncomfortable in introducing our spouses to you, you may have never seen our kids right now. But you would have at least enjoyed talking about it. You always just liked to talk, and even spoke to Muni about his kid when you couldn't care about anything else with him. 

Anyway, I'm just rambling now. Thanks for your visit, again. See you some other time.